I have suffered from depression on and off all my life. For anyone who has never experienced depression, it is difficult to describe. It is like having no skin to protect your emotions so that the slightest comment, thought or situation can have a huge negative impact that is completely out of proportion. It’s like being stuck in a pit with slippery walls so that climbing out is not an option and sometimes, even if someone sends you a rope to help bring you up, no matter how hard you pull to lift yourself, you keep slipping back down to the bottom of the dark pit.

Depression is not something that I would wish on anyone. Having said that, miserable as is it to experience depression, it has been a gift to me.  It has made me grateful for the times when the depression lifts, and the world returns to being a place of joy and lightness.  Coming out of depression literally feels like coming into the light after a storm cloud has shrouded everything in heavy, dense darkness. It has also given me the capacity to empathize with and understand those who have similar experiences.

There are many types of depression and I am not in any way intending this to be taken as advice for someone undergoing depression. I’m just sharing some of my own experience. What I have come to understand for myself is that sometimes depression is a signal it is a signal that in some way, I am not in integrity with myself; I have allowed someone to cross a boundary and feel violated or I have suppressed an emotion (usually anger) that needs to be expressed, etc. So, sometimes it helps to ask myself what emotion am I hiding from myself or what do I need to be paying attention to emotionally?

What can you do to be sure you are in integrity with yourself? Do you have some emotions that are waiting for your attention?