While I was at the retreat center, I decided to pamper myself. I had a kink in my neck and shoulders that had been there fore a few weeks. I assumed that taking a few yoga classes would alleviate the pain, they didn’t. So, I decided to take advantage of the massage services available. I had a massage and it was fabulous and relaxing. Yet, as soon as I got up afterwards, I realized that even though the rest of my body was relaxed, my neck and shoulders continued to feel stiff and hurt. So, then I decided to get a special deep tissue massage. But, just as with the first one, the rest of me felt great but the pain in my neck and shoulders persisted.

I realized that up until then, I had not been paying enough attention to how I was feeling physically to realize just how much tension I had been holding in my neck and shoulders. It was only when I had stopped my constant doing and started being in and paying attention to my body that I was able to become aware of it. I realized that I unconsciously put all my tension and stress in my neck and shoulders. Since I have had this kind of kink in my neck a number of times in the past and since two massages did not even begin to provide relief, I realized this habit of mine was probably long-standing. Apparently, I had been deaf to the messages my body was sending me for a long time.

Soon, it was time to return to reality and go home. Since the massages had not been able to alleviate the pain in my neck and shoulders, I made an appointment with Dr. Lou a chiropractor when I returned. Dr. Lou informed me that my neck and spine were badly out of alignment, causing the muscles to react, tense and tighten. It turned out that massaging the muscles without also working on aligning my spine was not enough. He told me it was clear that this misalignment has been in place for quite a while.

Over the next few weeks, I went to see Dr. Lou a few days each week. When I realized how persistent the neck and shoulder pain was, it became all the more clear how long I had been oblivious to the messages my body was sending. I suddenly became aware of all the ways that I had been contributing to the mis-alignment and muscle tension as a result of my failure to pay attention to the physical sensations that my body was sending me.

I began to become more mindful of how I was feeling physically paying attention to physical sensations that I had routinely ignored in the past. I realized that I would usually sit at my laptop without getting up and stretching for hours on end. It would often be 4:00 p.m. before I would look up and realize that I had sat in one place all day and not even eaten. I started to pay attention and listen to my body. If I felt hungry, I got up and made myself a snack. And, I made sure to get up and stretch or move around every so often as well.

As I paid attention to how I felt physically, I became more mindful of the way I habitually held my body. I became aware that I constantly hunched up my shoulders without even noticing that I was doing so. It took an enormous amount of concentration and attention to try to keep them down and relaxed.

I realized that the way I worked at home was contributing to my physical mis-alignment as well. I completely re-arranged my work area. I raised the laptop so I could see the screen without having to lower my head, thereby putting pressure on my neck. I started using a wireless keyboard so that my arms could be positioned correctly. Also, I began to pay attention to my posture and the position of my shoulders as I worked. And, I instituted a new habit of doing at least 10 minutes of yoga each morning.

Read about Being Present in Part 6 of the Change, Transition, and Transformation Series.