What is it about human nature that, unlike Divine nature, finds it so easy to focus on differences and make those who are different into the “other” (and often an other who is considered in some way less than)?
I was distressed to read an article in the New York Times (Harsh Words Amid the Hallelujahs by John Soltes, New York Times, July 22, 2007) discussing the divisions within a Roman Catholic Church in East New York between some of the Nigerian members and the Latino and Caribbean members of the St. Fortunata Roman Catholic Church in East New York.
The shared Catholicism of these groups should be able to provide the necessary connecting threads to unite and bring these groups together in understanding. Unfortunately, instead, the threads of their cultural differences have a strong pull in opposite directions creating breaches between them.
The St. Fortunata Church celebrated Mass in Igbo, a language of Southeastern Nigeria. Some of the Nigerians who used to participate in this Mass will be leaving to worship at a different church in Queens as a result of an incident that occurred recently. Apparently a Nigerian priest in residence preached for more than half an hour, which was experienced by some of the English-speaking parishioners as too long. What brought matters to a head, however, was when the church’s Pastor reproached the priest requesting that in the future he limit [his] preaching to 20 to 25 minutes. In response to this incident, the head of the Nigerian apostolate of the Diocese of Brooklyn asked the diocese to relocate the Igbo Mass to another church.
The Church’s Pastor who commented on the incident afterwards noted that while some of the Igbo practices were welcomed, he wished that the Igbo community would make more effort to blend into the rest of the church community. He said,
“Every group wants to hold on and say, ‘This is our piece of the pie.’ People forget that there is a whole other world out there. And it’s not just us. It’s not just our needs, or my group, or my family or my particular tribe.”
This incident serves as a microcosm for the difficulties we have welcoming and incorporating differences. It is usually the group that is smaller in number/has less power that is expected to consider the whole other world out there. And, in those cases, it is inevitable that their needs will become submerged by those of the majority/more powerful groups.
It is a sad state that we are in when those who are designated as representatives of the Divine are unable to act with Divine Spirit and love.
The Quilt of Humanity ModelTM Approach: If I were called in to consult to the Diocese of Brooklyn, I would use the Quilt of Humanity ModelTMto find the connecting threads between the Nigerian parishioners and the others. One way to do this could be asking both sets of parishioners to come together for a Reconciliation Retreat.
This would involve focusing on their shared beliefs and values. Using an Appreciative Inquiry Paradigm, I would help them interview each other in mixed pairs to look back on their interactions with each other to recall stories of times when the two groups felt connected and worked/worshipped together well.
This would serve to reconnect the individuals to the presence of the threads that connect them by bringing them back in touch with their shared beliefs and past positive experiences and looking at the Church community as a whole.
While they are in this positive mindset, rather than a closed off defensive mindset, I would have them think about the St. Fortunata Church as a quilt in need of repair and help them envision what they could do to reconnect the broken threads and torn pieces of cloth.
Story telling and differentiating between intent and impact would be an important part of this process as well. By differentiating between intent and impact, parishioners could share with each other stories about the impact on them of the incident and the events that followed without attributing negative intentions to any of the actors. This could provide the parishioners with a non-confrontational way to learn about, gain a deeper understanding of, and develop empathy for each other.