“I have walked through many lives,
some of them my own,
and I am not who I was…” -Stanley Kunitz
Looking back in time, I realize that while the core elements of who I am remain the same, I have changed dramatically over time. I’ve made mistakes, faced painful experiences, and found myself in (and out of) unhealthy relationships. But when I reflect on the past, I don’t dwell on regrets or wonder what I should have done differently today, because I know I did the best I could with who I was then.
Still, it’s interesting to see, in hindsight, how I arrived where I am now. What led me down paths that turned out well? What caused me to take wrong turns?
For me, many of my wrong turns came from misunderstanding the boundaries of compassion. Having compassion for someone doesn’t mean taking responsibility for their mistakes or sparing them from the consequences of their own actions. It’s not about fixing or saving. It’s about being present and holding out love without judgment, while maintaining my own boundaries.
What about you? What’s the pattern to the wrong turns you chose? What can you learn from it?