A powerful candid and beautifully written account of survival, and an inspiring journey of healing and resilience from childhood incest. Howard’s book is lucid, complex and infinitely engaging. This is a must read.

Lena Alhusseini

Former Director of Child Welfare, Oregon Department of Health and Human Services

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Mystery of MemoryMystery of Memory

Telling My Truth, Standing My Ground

– by Deborah Howard

Mystery of Memory: Telling My Truth, Standing My Ground, is Deborah’s story as an incest survivor who struggled to find her voice and believe in herself despite having only wispy, murky memories of her abuse.

After unearthing memories of being sexually molested by her father, Deborah spends decades struggling against her parents’ invalidation of her experience, suffering from painful self-doubt in the process. Finally, she decides to become a detective to find evidence to conquer her doubts.

“I lay on my bed. My mind felt like it was expanding; I no longer felt present in my body. I was dreaming. I was awake. I saw an empty stage, a closed black curtain, me, as a young girl of twelve. From deep inside her chest, a stream of tears, spewing like a foundation. Years’ worth pouring out, unstoppable.  She asks, “Are you sure you want to know this?”
I answer, “Yes.”

My twelve-year old self responds, “Daddy raped me.”

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Available at Greenlight Book Store at 686 Fulton Street, Brooklyn, NY 11217

If you are interested in buying the book in bulk for your classroom, book club, or support group, or in having Deborah do a talk, book-signing, or workshop,, please click here

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